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Posted December 17, 2011 by Henry Robert Kimball in 12 Step Spirituality
"Having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? We have been trying to get a new attitude; a new relationship with our Creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path. We have admitted certain defects; we have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is; we have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. This requires action on our part, which, when completed, will mean that we have admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our defects. This brings us to the fifth step in the program of recovery."
This is perhaps difficult; especially discussing our defects with another person. We like to think we have done well enough admitting these things to ourselves. And then we have the doubt about that.In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. Many of us thought it necessary to go much further. We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see could reason for doing so. The best reason first; if we skip this vital step we may not overcome drinking. Time after time alcoholics have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest of the program; they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is they never completed their house cleaning. They took inventory alright, but hung onto some of the worst items in stock. (earlier we used the analogy of a commercial inventory). They only THOUGHT they had lost their egoism and fear; they only THOUGHT they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone all their life story".
"More than other people the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation; but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it."
" We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world. Rightly and naturally we think well before we choose the person or persons whom are to hear this confidential step."
Nobody wants to do this step. I will say; I couldn't wait to do it; but was still fearful as my mind rationalized ways around it. By the time I had gotten to this step I knew better. The stage character was all to plain to me. I wanted to get rid of this crap and insane thinking I lived with for so long. It was time I was ready. Most people choose the one that took them through the steps or a sponsor (same thing). But the instructions tell us this is not necessarily so. It's important that the person understand what you are doing and why you are doing it. And that they can keep a confidence. Initially you will be concerned about that; but later on down the road; you won't care who knows. I found the benefit of talking with another ex-drunk like me invaluable. He also talked about his character defects- past and present. He matched my senseless and inconsiderate behavior. I also got even a better and clearer understanding of myself just by reading my inventory; which is what you actually do to take the 5th. Symbolically I had placed a chair with a candle in it before I started reading my inventory, each time; to represent God being there. Also I didn't do it in one session. It took about 50 hours. We had spread it out over 3 weeks time. That is another advantage to using an alcoholic for this step. Only he will really understand; provided he has done it himself. Don't forget; when the book went out; the ones that had called the New York office for the book; didn't have an alcoholic to share the 5th with. I'm glad that wasn't my case. But that's why the directions don't include sharing it with another alcoholic.
When we decide who is to hear it we waste no time We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character and every dark corner of our past. Once we have taken this step, holding back nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs; but now we BEGIN to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has gone will come strongly. We feel we are on The Broad Highway, walking hand and hand with the Spirit Of The Universe.
Returning home we find a quiet place where we can be alone for an hour; carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. Taking this book down off the shelve; we turn to the page containing the 12 steps. Carefully reading the first 5 proposals we ask if we have omitted anything; for we are building an arch through which we will pass to freedom.
If we can answer that we have been thorough so far then we look at steps 6 and 7. Are we now willing to have God remove all the things that we have admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them ALL - every one? When ready we say something like this:
" My Creator I am now willing that You should have all of me good and bad; I pray now that you remove every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go out from here to do Your bidding. Amen " We have now completed step 7.
Now we need more action which we find that "Faith without works is dead". Next we will be taking steps 8 and 9. You will notice that in the 3rd step prayer the word Amen was not used at the end of the prayer. This is because the 3rd step prayer wasn't complete until you did 5 and were really understanding what the difficulties were and what blocked you off from Him to have God "take away my difficilties; that victory over them may bare witness to those I would help of the power..." If you look at this 7th step prayer and the 3rd step prayer they are very much the same. The only difference is YOU. You are done unblocking yourself from God. Now we need to unblock ourselves from the rest of humanity! That looks like steps 8 and 9. Warning; if you don't continue on; eventually you will become blocked from God again. The taking responsibility for harm caused others is just theoretical until we make amends. Conscious contact with God is the harmony of the relationship with Him; others and ourselves. those are the three realms of spiritual life.
This is perhaps difficult; especially discussing our defects with another person. We like to think we have done well enough admitting these things to ourselves. And then we have the doubt about that.In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. Many of us thought it necessary to go much further. We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see could reason for doing so. The best reason first; if we skip this vital step we may not overcome drinking. Time after time alcoholics have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest of the program; they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is they never completed their house cleaning. They took inventory alright, but hung onto some of the worst items in stock. (earlier we used the analogy of a commercial inventory). They only THOUGHT they had lost their egoism and fear; they only THOUGHT they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone all their life story".
"More than other people the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation; but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it."
" We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world. Rightly and naturally we think well before we choose the person or persons whom are to hear this confidential step."
Nobody wants to do this step. I will say; I couldn't wait to do it; but was still fearful as my mind rationalized ways around it. By the time I had gotten to this step I knew better. The stage character was all to plain to me. I wanted to get rid of this crap and insane thinking I lived with for so long. It was time I was ready. Most people choose the one that took them through the steps or a sponsor (same thing). But the instructions tell us this is not necessarily so. It's important that the person understand what you are doing and why you are doing it. And that they can keep a confidence. Initially you will be concerned about that; but later on down the road; you won't care who knows. I found the benefit of talking with another ex-drunk like me invaluable. He also talked about his character defects- past and present. He matched my senseless and inconsiderate behavior. I also got even a better and clearer understanding of myself just by reading my inventory; which is what you actually do to take the 5th. Symbolically I had placed a chair with a candle in it before I started reading my inventory, each time; to represent God being there. Also I didn't do it in one session. It took about 50 hours. We had spread it out over 3 weeks time. That is another advantage to using an alcoholic for this step. Only he will really understand; provided he has done it himself. Don't forget; when the book went out; the ones that had called the New York office for the book; didn't have an alcoholic to share the 5th with. I'm glad that wasn't my case. But that's why the directions don't include sharing it with another alcoholic.
When we decide who is to hear it we waste no time We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character and every dark corner of our past. Once we have taken this step, holding back nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs; but now we BEGIN to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has gone will come strongly. We feel we are on The Broad Highway, walking hand and hand with the Spirit Of The Universe.
Returning home we find a quiet place where we can be alone for an hour; carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. Taking this book down off the shelve; we turn to the page containing the 12 steps. Carefully reading the first 5 proposals we ask if we have omitted anything; for we are building an arch through which we will pass to freedom.
If we can answer that we have been thorough so far then we look at steps 6 and 7. Are we now willing to have God remove all the things that we have admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them ALL - every one? When ready we say something like this:
" My Creator I am now willing that You should have all of me good and bad; I pray now that you remove every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go out from here to do Your bidding. Amen " We have now completed step 7.
Now we need more action which we find that "Faith without works is dead". Next we will be taking steps 8 and 9. You will notice that in the 3rd step prayer the word Amen was not used at the end of the prayer. This is because the 3rd step prayer wasn't complete until you did 5 and were really understanding what the difficulties were and what blocked you off from Him to have God "take away my difficilties; that victory over them may bare witness to those I would help of the power..." If you look at this 7th step prayer and the 3rd step prayer they are very much the same. The only difference is YOU. You are done unblocking yourself from God. Now we need to unblock ourselves from the rest of humanity! That looks like steps 8 and 9. Warning; if you don't continue on; eventually you will become blocked from God again. The taking responsibility for harm caused others is just theoretical until we make amends. Conscious contact with God is the harmony of the relationship with Him; others and ourselves. those are the three realms of spiritual life.
English (US) 