Loss

During a lifetime it happens to each of us many times in many ways
How do we cope?
Where do we turn?
What we all have in common.

I first felt the sadness of loss when I was fifteen. Our next door neighbor, a wonderful woman, had a brain aneurysm. She collapsed and died at work. I went to her “wake” and wondered what sense this made. Mary was the hub of her family wheel. Her husband and two sons would go on to wander quite aimlessly through their loss, never fully recovering. I decided her death really didn’t make sense and for the first time, questioned the loving God I believed in.

As I write today, I feel sadness that a dear mentor and friend is in the final days of her battle with cancer. She, too, is the hub of her family wheel. Her children are grown and fairly well et on their paths, but her beloved grandchildren are not and, again, I wonder what sense does this make?

The answer I’ve discovered throughout the years is, it doesn’t. Loss doesn’t seem to make sense. But it happens to each of us many times in many ways throughout our lifetime.

The loss of love…through death, divorce and estrangement
The loss of security…through financial setbacks, catastrophic events and perception
The loss of health…through accident or illness

If we are fortunate enough to live long enough, I believe each of us will experience loss in each of these very broad categories. Just as there are universal losses there will be universal reactions to loss. Our reactions usually vary dependent upon the severity of the loss. There are stages to grief…denial