By Chris Carpenter

Haddaway may have posed the question best when he sang, "What is love? Baby, don't hurt me no more" in dance clubs everywhere back in the 1990's. But poets, popes, philosophers, psychologists, the Beatles and numerous other love gurus have been trying to provide a suitable definition of love for centuries.


As the feast of Saint Valentine--aka Valentine's Day--rolls around once again, it is arguably the most appropriate time of year for us to reflect on the question and definition of love. In the end, there may be as many definitions of love as there are human beings who have ever lived. Does love mean "never having to say you're sorry"? Or is love more accurately "a many splendored thing"? The Judds sang "Love can build a bridge." Movie slogans and song titles may give us some suggestions or hints, but they can't begin to encapsulate all that love entails.


Christians have traditionally drawn first and foremost from the words of Saint Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians in our efforts to define love. According to Paul, "Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." These lines are frequently read at weddings today, nearly 2,000 years after Paul wrote them.


I've long been struck by the universality of this New Testament understanding of love. They don't speak exclusively to Christians, nor to heterosexual couples. While Saint Paul can't be termed a proponent of same-sex marriage, his words can nevertheless provide us guidance as we seek and define our own experiences of love as GLBT people. Given all the heated legal and political rhetoric over the issue of equal marriage rights, we can take hope in the fact that Jesus Christ himself never explicitly condemned same-sex love and nearly always spoke of love in universal, unconditional terms.


For me personally, love must be exhibited through action. One can send the most beautifully inscribed Valentines to our sweetheart(s), but we are done for if our actions ultimately betray our loving sentiments. While I believe in telling our loved ones that we love them as often as possible, our words ring hollow if our actions don't back them up. Abusers routinely tell their victims they love them. Children sometimes take advantage of their beloved parents and grandparents. Spouses and partners can cheat on one another despite their pledges of honesty and exclusivity. People who consider themselves "good Christians" ignore the poor and neglect immigrants, the sick and everyone else Jesus charged his followers with the care of.



I encourage us all to think and act as broadly as possible when it comes to love. Sure, we all have particular people in our lives who we are closer to than others. However, we can't allow ourselves to limit our love solely to them. God gave us a great gift in the ability to love, an ability seemingly unique to the human species. Love can indeed "build a bridge" between disparate communities, including the GLBT and straight communities, and can bring about greater economic stability and peace in the world.



In the final analysis, perhaps the Beatles did say it best: All we need is love.